hope over fear

Visitors walk past flags near the Washington Monument in Washington, Monday, Jan. 19, 2009, a day before Barack Obama's presidential inauguration.

Before hundreds of thousands, Barack Hussein Obama was sworn in as the 44th President of the United States of America at 12:05pm EST on January 20, 2009. His inaugural speech included the following: "hope over fear, unity of purpose over conflict and discord.”

The president thanked his predecessor, George W. Bush, and said he was “humbled by the task before us, grateful for the trust you have bestowed, mindful of the sacrifices borne by our ancestors.”
Obama acknowledged that “we are in the midst of crisis.”
“Our nation is at war, against a far-reaching network of violence and hatred,” he said. “Our economy is badly weakened, a consequence of greed and irresponsibility on the part of some, but also our collective failure to make hard choices and prepare the nation for a new age. Homes have been lost, jobs shed, businesses shuttered. Our health care is too costly, our schools fail too many, and each day brings further evidence that the ways we use energy strengthen our adversaries and threaten our planet.”
Saying “The time has come to set aside childish things,” Obama declared “Today, I say to you that the challenges we face are real. They are serious and they are many. They will not be met easily or in a short span of time.
“But know this, America — they will be met.”

crazy, busy and good

those three words pretty much sum up the way i feel about life right now.

crazy - i've hit a new motivated stride lately. it's time to get things back in order. larry worked on the deck and has it ready for a new round of paint. i just have to figure out what color i want this time. i've started reading on flylady. for those that don't know, it's basically a series of routines that you start and maintain to keep your house clean without spending all of your life scrubbing away. you make it work for you and with your schedule. now, my house is not messy, but there is no real routine to my cleaning anymore. i used to devote saturday mornings to cleaning the entire house top to bottom. i've gotten away from that. i used to do the dishes right after dinner. some days, they are still sitting there the next night. you get the idea, right? on top of that, every other weekend or every third weekend is now spent at the farm getting it back in order and taking care of projects that the in-laws either don't have time for or don't want to tackle. so that jacks with the little bit of order i attempt to maintain.

busy - busy rolls with crazy, in part. my work day seems to have extended itself to about 9 1/2 hours a day. then its home to the kids, homework, dinner (which in itself has become a bit of an issue...most nights i have no desire to cook), baths, bedtime for the kids, larry gets home, we talk, he goes to bed, and i spend about 15-20 minutes just enjoying the solitude. then it's back up and do it all over again. i hate to see what's going to happen when we add baseball and softball back into the schedule. our weekends seem to be a neverending run of house projects, quick cleans, errands and trying to relax a teeny bit.

good - thanks in part to my dad, i've reconnected a bit with a couple of family members that i haven't spoken to in several years. one is a cousin who i loved dearly and looked up to when i was growing up. he's 10 years older than me and was always ... perfect. or so it seems. in truth, he's much more real and normal than i ever thought possible. he has his problems and share of hard times, too. and it seems we've renewed a friendship when he (and maybe even me) needed it most. dad's reconnecting with the family, too, which is a huge step for him in the recovery process. i'm so proud of him. the move to florida seems to have been the next best step for him, even if i was scared and angry for a bit. larry and i have made attempts at spending more time together doing 'fun stuff' that we used to do and that sort of fell by the wayside because we were too tired, didn't have any money or whatever the excuse of the week was. the kids are doing good, too. no real complaints about either of them for the moment. they are even getting along (for the most part) and doing their chores (with a lot of prodding).

all in all, the title says it best. it's been a long time since i've felt this good about changes that i'm slowly incorporating into my little corner of the world. i just hope and pray i can maintain.

um....

happy new year!

seriously, i've got nothin...i just couldn't handle the night before christmas story 10 days after christmas. it was a good christmas, tho. and a nice new years. now it's just cold and dreary and wintery. bring on spring!!!

merry christmas

Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house

Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.

The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,

In hopes that St Nicholas soon would be there.



The children were nestled all snug in their beds,

While visions of sugar-plums danced in their heads.

And mamma in her ‘kerchief, and I in my cap,

Had just settled our brains for a long winter’s nap.



When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,

I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.

Away to the window I flew like a flash,

Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.



The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow

Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below.

When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,

But a miniature sleigh, and eight tinny reindeer.



With a little old driver, so lively and quick,

I knew in a moment it must be St Nick.

More rapid than eagles his coursers they came,

And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name!



"Now Dasher! now, Dancer! now, Prancer and Vixen!

On, Comet! On, Cupid! on, on Donner and Blitzen!

To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall!

Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!"



As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,

When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky.

So up to the house-top the coursers they flew,

With the sleigh full of Toys, and St Nicholas too.



And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof

The prancing and pawing of each little hoof.

As I drew in my head, and was turning around,

Down the chimney St Nicholas came with a bound.



He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot,

And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot.

A bundle of Toys he had flung on his back,

And he looked like a peddler, just opening his pack.



His eyes-how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!

His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!

His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,

And the beard of his chin was as white as the snow.



The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,

And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath.

He had a broad face and a little round belly,

That shook when he laughed, like a bowlful of jelly!



He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,

And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself!

A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,

Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread.



He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,

And filled all the stockings, then turned with a jerk.

And laying his finger aside of his nose,

And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose!



He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,

And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.

But I heard him exclaim, ‘ere he drove out of sight,

"Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good-night!"

frickin frackin brrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

Yesterday was the ickiest day so far of the crazy weather we've had lately. Ice. Freezin cold, slippery ice. School was delayed a couple hours, so the kids were thrilled. I went in to work late. My normal 15-20 minute drive took 45, but that's okay. I was safe, the truck was safe and I saw no accidents. The kids got to school with no problems, and got home with no problems. I left work and got home in the freezing drizzle. No biggie.

Until I opened the front door. It was 58 in my house and the heater was blowing!!!!

I know I said a minimum of 10 cuss words right in a row before I made it three feet inside the door. I had to call my ex......dammit. Built a fire and waited. He showed up around 7 and by 8, we had heat again. In fact, much warmer heat than we'd had lately. Apparently there was something wrong with a relay and a heat strip and a something or another else. I'm just happy to have heat again. Except, I had to actually be nice and thank my ex. Dammit. Guess that was my Christmas present to him.

Happy Holidays

Not sure how much I'll be around over the next month, so ....

Happy Holidays
Merry Christmas
Happy Hanukkah
Happy New Year
etc, etc, etc.

For the first time in a long time, I think I'm truly going to enjoy this holiday season. There is minimal stress (money, presents, plans, travel and family)....it's going to be a fun time, I do believe. I hope. I pray.

May God bless you and fill your family with love and joy this season. And with the New Year, a renewed sense of hope in our country, our economy and our lives.

list-ey

it's been a long time, but....here we go. the list-ey.

things that irritate me today:
* the state attorney general's office
* children who argue and whine
* children who don't listen
* ignorant people (this has been taken to a whole new level of ignorance, given the convo heard in the office breakroom today at lunch. how gay is a 'lifestyle' that they just can't understand, are pretty sure there aren't any gay people in their families, and the gay guy at church is the exception to how they feel about gay people in general. all said by two women, one white and one black. in the interest of keeping my job and thus my paycheck, house and such, i was compelled to keep my big fat trap firmly shut and thus chewed a hole in my lip)
* laundry.....the giant, neverending pile that accumulates every frikkin week in my home
* pms and periods

and to balance things out.....things that make me happy:
* children who occasionally listen and tell me that they screwed up
* yummy yummy pizza
* truly funny jokes
* weekends at the farm, without children
* gas prices (most recently seen at around $1.75

yeah. okay, it's not a balanced list-ey, but its close enough, right?

be jealous

because i filled up the wannabe a jeep thing last night.....for $15.61. it had about an 1/8th of a tank.

*big grin*

i love gas prices right now (altho, i will not complain if they drop even further than the current $1.83). and i shall not complain about the wannabe a jeep thing's attitude for a little while. at least, not very much. or very loudly.

a rotten halloween

Rotten2 as a pop star/Hannah Montana, Rotten1's best friend as a gangsta and Rotten1 as GhostRider.

randoms.....again

* i finally finished stripping, sanding and staining an antique wooden cabinet. it now houses my mom's china and a few pieces of crystal. at least, it will house them until i get the china cabinet i want. someday. no more furniture refinishing for me for a while. that was a bitch.

* i've almost got the kids' halloween costumes finished. no sewing them this year, just buying and finding pieces and putting them together. they will be able to use 90% of their costumes after halloween this year, so i don't mind spending more on them this year than i normally would.

* i haven't had the a/c on in over 3 weeks. my electric bill should be beautiful this month.

* i have found a new show i love - Female Forces. it's on the biography channel on sunday nights at 9 cst. it's all about female cops. these women are hilarious.

* i hate, hate, hate six day work weeks. the last three weeks are enough to wear a person out.

* fall has arrived in dallas. it's rather chilly and windy outside. leaves are blowing off trees (even tho they are still green). just in time for halloween. i'm not ready to give up my beautiful 75-80 degree days and 35-40 degree nights tho.

it's official

i've just about had enough of the political bullshit. i enjoy it, i do. but damn. it's getting downright stupid to listen to the spins that certain people put on comments that are made by others in the political arena. especially tonight on nbc evening news with brian williams. morons. stupid, stupid morons.

serious question

what is the definition of a negative campaign?

to me, negative campaigning would be the mudslinging, nasty comments - lipstick on a pig or his daddy's a muslim, so he must be a friend of terrorist type comments. not the mccain is against abortion and i'm pro-choice or obama wants to raise taxes and i'm going to take a hatchet to federal spending.

cuteness from saturday

no more laughter....

no more tears.

feelings are moot at this point, anyway.
took today off to go to court.
the jeep wannabe was dead.
the judge did not rule in our favor.
dh is not a happy person.
the jeep wannabe is fixed, i think.

*sigh*

i seriously need some good news and good things.

have to laugh....

....because if i don't laugh, i will cry.

let me back up a bit. we've been killing ourselves for the last year to pay off all of our debt. we are oh, so very, very close. as in, within a month, it should all be done. i've felt the brunt of this crunch more than others in the house, and i did it on purpose to a point. and i was okay with that. much of that debt was mine anyway. so about 3 weeks ago, it became more than i could handle. all of the stress, the worrying, and some other issues came to a head all at one time and i lost it. lost it, as in ready to run away from home and not come back until i could see halfway straight. i managed to make it thru that weekend and get my head together and shove on. i've slowly put myself into a better frame of mind, even if it is a fairly fragile better state of mind.

talked to dh earlier today...seems that he broke the headlight dimmer switch on the 65 falcon yesterday when he was replacing the kick panels. oops. he had to hardwire the lights to the battery this morning to get to work at 5:30. he was able to swing by autozone and get the parts to fix it this morning, so all is good there.

tonight, i'm doing the standard homework, dinner, cleanup, etc with the kids. dh is at work. rotten1 and i are about to finish up his pueblo project, rotten2 is attempting a fema-scale cleanup of her room. and dh calls. seems he's lost his keys somewhere between a hospital or five, an ambulance, and god only knows where. okay, no problem. gather kids, find extra set of keys, drive 45 minutes to give him the keys. we get there, i meet a few of his co-workers, we chat and no big deal. it's about 8pm and i am ready to get back to the house because the kids still need baths and such before bedtime.

i get in the jeep thing, start it up, back it out, leave the parking lot and get to the light. and the fucker doesn't want to go. i finally get it moving and head toward the highway - 35 miles from home. then my radio goes out, my headlights dim to nearly nothing and the fucker doesn't want to go again. i whip into the nearest gas station, dh wondering what the hell i'm doing. and the jeep thing dies. *sigh* we finally pop the clutch and off i go....sort of. it looks like i can't drive a standard worth a shit for a moment, then it's all good. as i drive, with no radio (that sucked) and no a/c, things slowly get dimmer and dimmer....and i'm holding the gas pedal to the floor to maintain speeds of 55-60mph. about 12 miles from home, i exit off the second highway for the little farm to market road......and the truck craps again.

here we are, on a two lane road in the total darkness and cars going by fairly regularly (one or two every minute or so). all i can think of is the news story from sunday where a woman and her daughter were hit and the woman killed while trying to get her broken down car off the road. dh finally gets the jeep jumped off and off i go. that lasts all of about 6 miles. right down the road from the fire station. so we jump it off again and i head for home....at this point, i'm driving with no headlights, half on the grass and half on the road, using dh's headlights to see. sort of. i cross the 4 lane highway with only enough pause to make sure the road was clear and over onto the shoulder....still no headlights. by this time, it's 9:30 and the kids are getting cranky. so is dh. i want to, but i'm so focused on not letting the jeep thing die, i can't think of anything else. i manage to damn near fred flinstone the jeep thing the last 3 miles - i swear, if i had feathered that gas pedal anymore or any faster, my foot would have needed wings. by the grace of god, a miracle or just plain bad luck i managed to get into our yard. couldn't get into the driveway, but hell.....i was home. and the jeep thing died as the back bumper was less than 2 feet onto our property. dh hooked the battery charger to it, declared the alternator officially dead gone and in alternator heaven and realized that not only had he not eaten since about noon (he's diabetic). then realized that his phone was missing. it has to get better, right? so i find him a snack, he manages to get the jeep charged enough to get it out of the yard and into its rightful place in the driveway, and he heads back out to find his phone.....it has to be near the fire station because i'd talked to him not long before that. the kids manage to almost put themselves to bed and i kissed them goodnight. it's now around 10 and dh is back, with his phone still in one piece.

all in all, i know that i ran three stop signs, ran a flashing red light, drove for over 10 miles with no headlights and about 15 miles before that with headlights so dim, i doubt anyone could see them anyway. i was speeding in some areas to keep the jeep thing moving along steadily and obstructing traffic in other areas because the little engine that could was still attempting to chug along. i passed one state trooper who was on the opposite side of the highway, back when the headlights were halfway working.

as of 10:45, i've called in to work tomorrow (i needed a day off anyway) because the jeep thing isn't getting fixed tonight, dh finally got some dinner, the kids went to bed without baths, and if i don't laugh, i'll cry. or end up in a mental ward. and according to autozone.com, the alternator is $115. dammit.

randoms

* bicycles can be dangerous. just ask rotten1, who jammed the brake handle into his groin when he fell trying to do a wheelie on sunday. poor kid.

* our local mcdonald's has $1 hamburger happy meals on monday nights. guess where we ate dinner tonight?

* work has gotten crazy busy again. this intense level usually only happens twice a year. this year is not normal.

* would you people up north please keep your cold weather up there? i'm truly not ready for 40-50 degrees in the mornings yet.

* i sense a shift coming in the kids' visitation schedule with their dad. their social lives are becoming busier and weekends at his place are hindering their desires.

* i wouldn't call it insomnia, but my sleep schedule is greatly out of whack. again. i'm surviving on roughly 6 hours of sleep, and going on two weeks of this insanity. it really doesn't affect me, it's just irritating because my schedule is all confused. i should be in bed soon, but i won't be.

* where has this year gone? could someone please hit the rewind button? i'm so not ready for another round of holidays so soon.

* dh and i are almost debt free (excluding the house/land)....by the beginning of november, we should be. how freaking scary. it's taken so much work and tightening of the belts. but it will be worth it. i hope. i'm so ready for it. i just keep reminding myself that we are almost there....it's hard to remember why i'm doing this sometimes.

* my real life best friend cleaned out her closet this weekend and i was the lucky recepient of six pairs of blue jeans and two pairs of capris! yay! i soooooo needed some clothes. and they are perfect for work.

* this is probably the longest blog entry i've written in months about various things. scary. and on that note, i think i'm out of randoms.

hmmm

Maybe I'm not in the awful shape I thought I was....maybe just half-awful.

The kids and I started walking about three weeks ago, on average 4 nights a week. They ride their bikes, I walk. We've worked our way up to about a mile and a half each night. I'd love to go further, but we just don't have time between dinner, homework, baths, and bedtime to go for more than about 20 minutes. And it's starting to get dark earlier. I don't like to be on the road after about 7:30 now, especially on these country roads. It's just not safe for me or the kids when the roads aren't lit and such.

I'm doing a pretty brisk pace, and I've started jogging about a half mile of the route. It's fun, and it reminds me of a previous time I used to run 4 miles a day. I was in awesome shape then. I'd love to get back to that place.

Now, I just have to figure out what I'm going to do when it's dark by 6pm and cold. I know I won't want to walk then and the kids won't either. But I don't want to lose my motivation and stride that I've got going ..... I'm thinking about a treadmill, but I just don't know. And I'm not sure where I'd put it that I'd use it regularly and it would be out of the way, but not become a clothes hanger or backpack storage.

Hurricane Ike my ass...

......so says Dad, who's on 24 emergency call down in Houston this weekend for the complex he works at.

DH didn't have to do evacs this week, which is good and bad. Definitely could have used the cash, but...no stress, so it's all good.

Keep those in Houston, Galveston and surrounding areas in your thoughts. Could get a bit messy down there this weekend. Between my dad, my brother and various friends and friends' families, I'm hoping for the best of what potentially could be a nasty storm.

Then we'll see what happens when Ike visits the Metroplex. I have a feeling I will have to find the jeep's water wings. :)

Update No.1 - Friday @ 3pm - Ike's flooding has begun in Galveston. The feds are telling people who stay on the Island and in Galveston they are facing near-certain death. Houston has been told to stay put and brace for the worst. Power is expected to be out in areas for anywhere from 10-18 days. The eye is still 150+ miles offshore and already Galveston has 105 mph winds and rain. Waves are already crashing over the seawall. And the projected path of Ike puts the eye directly over my house over night on Saturday.

I'm calling it now.....Texas done fucked up on this one. There were no major evacs of hospitals and nursing homes. There was no forced evacuations, only 'mandatory' ones on the coast but not inland. I'll wait and see, but something says this has the potential to be worse than Katrina. Homes in Galveston are already partially underwater in low-lying areas....and the worst hasn't even begun.

Update No.2 - Saturday @ 11am - Started getting nasty in Houston around midnight. Got a text from Dad saying power was out and winds were up around 80 mph sustained. He is right in downtown, so what you've seen on CNN is where he is. No word from him since. Downtown looks to be a mess, but very little flooding on the streets there. Sounds like Galveston and the coast are under lots of water tho.

The first band of 20mph winds and rain hit us around 8am. The second batch just started. So far, no biggie. A few small branches are down, but...no big deal. And, depending on which channel I'm watching, the eye may go right over us, may go to the east a bit. We'll see....

Update No.3 - Saturday @ 3pm - And Tropical Storm Ike has joined us in full force. Winds are sustained around 25 mph and the rain is sideways. The dog is scared shitless, DH is bored silly and I'm trying to keep myself amused. Dad checked in, he's camped out at work since his homeplace is without power/phones/water and his bedroom window was broken during the night. We've gotten over an inch of rain in the last hour or so, not too bad yet.

Update No.4 - Saturday @ Midnight - DH and I took the jeep out to dinner in 40mph winds. Gee, that was fun. Gusts were up to around 50-55mph. Why? We were bored and tired of being cooped up in the house in the rain and wind. Very few cars were out on the road. For a Saturday night, restaraunts and stores were virtually empty. Very little damage we could see around town.

Final Update - Sunday @ 11:30am - Ike is gone, the sun is shining and it's a gorgeous day. We ended up with about 3 inches of rain, no flooding and no major damage. The few minor casualties at the momma house included a huge rosebush that was sheared in half during the winds, the coke can recycling can and a few tree branches.
Now I'm just waiting to hear from my brother, get dad's pictures from Houston and hear from a few friends' families that live in and around Houston. Keep those on the Gulf in your thoughts. The flooding and wind damage down there is god-awful.

silly fun

Took off work a little early today, came home, took the top off the Jeep-wannabe and took the kids riding...did a few errands, rode around aimlessly...cranked the radio and just had fun for a while.

Felt so good to 'escape' for a little bit. And the kids didn't fight. Well, not too much anyway.

Now, it's back to reality - homework, dinner, dishes, laundry, bath and bedtime await me in the next two hours. Yay. *rolls eyes*

*sigh*

Again.

DH is heading to Louisiana....this time on the 2nd run, instead of the first. Instead of the hurry up and wait for the hurricane, he'll be on the 'clean up' run. Three years ago..... we were live from New Orleans....and there are others after that, if you really want to read.

God, Mayor Nagin, and Anderson Cooper, please bless those folks who decided to stay, those who decided to leave and the Children's Hospital that is going to run business-as-usual through Gustav.

Did I ever tell you the significance of that picture up there? Yeah, the one I put at the top of the page a couple weeks ago when I redid this blog. That was a shot from the New Orleans coastline right before Katrina hit. Freaky and slightly skeery, huh?