What to say....

Hmm....Ya know what? I don't have a thing to say. At least, nothing worth typing.

So who's got the drinks for our online New Year's bash?

Thursday Questions

When is Monsty returning from Houston?

Is Augie still mad at us?

Is Coco still pregnut?

What time zone is everyone in?

Has everyone seen Rose? She's back!

Is Carey still less sociable? Or just playing troublemaker?

What about Bob?

Is the sky really falling?

Itchy and Scratchy

Or, me and Rotten2 and my dog. The dog has gawd awful dry skin this winter and so do Rotten2 and I. We've begun bathing the dog (Trouble) every 3-4 days with Head & Shoulders. I'm starting to think this wouldn't be such a bad idea for me, as well. Except it's not my head. Or my shoulders. It's my back and tummy. And Rotten2's also. We're using baby oil in the shower, one of three lotions right after, and at least two or three other lotion applications during the day/evening. I feel like ... like....I should have chicken pox or something. It's enough to make us all insane. Any recommendations? I've got Bath & Body Works lotion. I've got Suave Dry Skin lotion. I've got Johnson & Johnson Baby Lotion. I've got Baby Oil. I've got some other scented body lotion something or other.

And Coco, no parcel yet.

********

In other news, as I was about to post, I hear a commercial on ABC for the new season of The Bachelor: Paris. I used to love this show. Now? When they advertise using the slogan "The romance is back" I want to puke.

Merry Christmas!

Wow. What a day. The kids got home around 10 last night...totally exhausted and on the verge on whiny. So we called off going to church. *pout* I really was looking forward to the service, but there was no way I was going to put myself through that with 2 kids that were so sleepy it wasn't funny. Ah well. I watched the major city's church service at midnight on tv. Not quite the same, but...it worked.

Kids woke up around 7 am, totally excited and raring to go. Santa brought the coveted DVD players, 5 DVDs and a DVD rack for each, as well as overflowing stockings. 16 presents for each child from DH and I, a present for me, and a small present for DH. And, since I know you all are wondering, I wrote DH a card with a picture of the car and put it in an envelope in his stocking. "Santa called and said we should know Monday about your present" Hehehehe. He's a bit in shock.

DH ended up having to work today. :( He was not happy. The kids and I took it in stride and called his dad and step mom before they left for our place. Instead of them doing dinner here, we met up and carried it all to the ambulance station with DH and his partner. Spent the better part of 4 hours there doing dinner and opening a few gifts. Definitely a first for all of us....and probably not the last Christmas to be spent waiting for a radio to go off in the midst of dinner.

Hope you all had a wonderful day. Merry Christmas!

Hmrph. It's Christmas Eve.

The kids ended up staying with their dad last night, since he forgot that Wednesday was...well, Wednesday. The kids stay with him every Wednesday. *shakes head* He's a moron. They are doing Christmas with their aunts and uncles and cousins and grandparents and the whole fam-damn-ily today. Should be home around 9 tonight.

DH is at work. It appears he may end up working Christmas Day. No one has volunteered to cover the next shift, since they allowed the guy who normally works to take vacation. If no one volunteers, guess who is stuck until they can find someone to come in? Yep. Hopefully it won't happen that way, but if it does...well... the extra $7-8 an hour for up to 24 hours won't be so awful. *half grin* I'm trying to find the bright spot there. Really, its not so bad for me. I just hope the kids won't be disappointed. This is the first year in 5 that they've been with me.

My cat is in heat. I swear to God, Santa, and all that is holy about this season, I will strangle her whiny ass if she doesn't shut up soon. After three days of her moaning and whining and being extremely vocal, I have no pity for the little shit. Note to self: Go get the damned cat spayed or neutered or whatever it's called SOON!

I haven't heard from the dealership. I'm getting worried. Or I was. Until I had talked to the Finance Manager last night. He's swamped, two people quit on him and it's pretty much just him and one other person this week trying to get all of the applications done. So...I'm calling again this morning to see what's going on. He promised he'd move me to the top of the pile and work on it yesterday afternoon. Damn.

Other than that, I have no plans. None. Not one. Today is all about peace and quiet - or at least as peaceful and quiet as it can get with a 16 month old cat in heat. *rolls eyes* Here's hoping the kids get home in time tonight to make it to the midnight candlelight service at church and aren't too worn out.

Happy Holidays!

Be it Christmas, Hanukkah, Winter Soltice, New Years or just the season itself - I want to wish you all a Happy Holiday!! I'll probably be around today and tomorrow but probably not Sunday.

*smoooooooooooooch*

I hope you all get everything you've ever wished for.

Ready or not...it's almost Christmas!

And I'm not. Sort of. I finished the kids stuff tonight. Finally. For the most part. There is one other thing I want to get them, but I'm not sure that time/money will allow. I really want to have satellite installed in their rooms. But I think my Christmas budget is pretty well gone. So that may have to be in a month or two just for shits and grins. Not a big deal since Santa is bringing each a DVD player and 5 movies a piece and a DVD rack for each of their rooms. I should find out tomorrow about the car for DH. I've decided on the 3rd. It's the GT Deluxe model from 03, has 33K miles on it, and the price is right. And so is the engine, transmission, coloring, and all that jazz.

Somehow, I managed to sucker myself into having DH's dad and stepmom here for Christmas morning. I realized that DH wouldn't want to drive an hour and half each way to his Dad's at some point Christmas Day after having worked a 24 hour shift Christmas Eve. And I really have no desire to spend half the day running across North Texas again this year. And his sister and her husband and their 3 kids are staying home (read: the other side of Dallas, an hour from our house) this year. So his dad and stepmom (who I adore) would be all alone with their cows this year. Which sucks. So I called to see if they wanted to come down for the day. Of course, they did. And in the last 12 hours has become a semi-large production for what I had hoped would be a laid back day. They are bringing a ham. And macaroni and veggies and rolls and dessert and.....hell if I know what else. And their Black Lab, of course. Which is fine. But now DH's sister and her family may be coming out to eat lunch/dinner/whatever you want to call that noon meal.

Which brings me to my next problem. I haven't bought my neices and nephew anything for Christmas because I hadn't planned on seeing them. DH's family typically doesn't exchange gifts with each other because their are 4 grown kids and 5 children + his dad, stepmom, mom and step dad. DH's parents do a few things for each of the grandkids, but that's about it. Which is fine. Normally we all get together a day or two after for a meal and hang out. But if I see them on Christmas Day, I'm going to have to do something. I just wouldn't feel right about it otherwise.

Ah well. It will all work out in the next few days, right? It has to. Christmas is almost here. Ready or not.

Out of the mouths of babes....

This morning's car conversation:

Momma, who sings this song?
Kenny Chesney
Who sings Summer Girls?
Jessica Andrews
Kenny Chesney's my boyfriend. 'Cept he's bigger than me.

***********

In other news, it appears that I have the loan approval for the 3rd car. And the first. I've got to fill out a full credit app in a bit, but the initial paperwork looks good. I really am leaning toward the 3rd car. It's also cheaper :) Unfortunately, it's not a 40th anni, but oh well.

***********
*HAPPY DANCE FOR CAREY* I hope Mayor Daddy Knockers has a quiet ride home from the hospital, a relaxing week, an enjoyable Christmas and no more trips back to the hospital except for his antibiotics. Give him big hugs for all of us, mkay?

I've lost my mind.

I have. I swear it. I haven't gotten DH anything for Christmas. The reason? His wish list has two things on it. A storage building/work shop that is roughly the size of our house and a newer car. Well, I got to browsing around car dealership websites this morning just for the hell of it. I've now talked to one salesman and filled out a pre-approval loan application. I found a 40th anni Mustang with very low mileage for a pretty decent price. I'm trading in DH's piece of shit car. And so far, DH knows nothing. He'll have to find out soon enough - he's got to sign the loan papers to. I don't make enough to justify having two vehicle loans going at the same time. Wanna see the car I'm working on? He's so going to kill me for this one. *grin*

ETA:2nd picture
ETRemove: 2nd picture. I've decided I don't like that one near as much. Now for the 3rd car:

Is it wrong?

That for dinner tonight, Rotten1 had a peanut butter and jelly sammich and chocolate milk? That Rotten2 had spaghetti noodles and parmesan cheese and chocolate milk? That I had apple crumb cake with Cool Whip?

We did have crackers and cheese and ham and turkey a couple hours ago....

To Do before tonight:

Clean kitchen - Done
Sweep and mop - Done
Clean bathrooms - Almost finished (DH is soo good)
Clean Rotten2's hazmat area of a bedroom - This is what I'm supposed to be doing right now. - ETA: Done
Move 2nd refridgerator - WHY did DH pick this morning to do this? Fridge has been living in the same spot for over a year now! But it's done.
Dust - ETA: Done
Vacuum
Finish laundry - ETA: Done
Go to grocery store
Make some kind of food
Make tea (sweet and unsweet)
Find coffee pot
Shower
Dress
Fix hair
Feed animals
Turn on Christmas lights

Letters to Santa

Our annual Letters to Santa were begun last night. So far, Rotten1 would like a laptop, a remote control four wheeler, a real four wheeler (*waves to Coco*), a DVD player, and satellite for his room. Rotten2 would like a toy lion, a toy zebra, a real pony, a bouncy ball, a CD player, a DVD player, cartoons for her room (read: satellite receiver), new boots, and a baby dressed in pink with a bear on it's dress on the front in the middle.

These will probably be added to, deleted from, and generally rearranged 15 times before Christmas Eve by each child. Oh! And did they mention they have been really, really, really good this year? Of course they did. And of course they looked at me like I had 3 heads and a clown wig when I reminded them that Santa knows when they've been lying.

And of course, the all important question came up while writing these letters. Are we leaving Santa birthday cake or cookies? 'Cause Santa might want some of Jesus' birthday cake, ya know.

ACK!

Remember how I told you that somehow, someway, I got suckered into hosting this year's Fire Department Christmas Party? It's this Saturday. Today is Thursday. I have not prepared for this AT ALL. I made it a potluck type supper thing with food, music, and mostly bring your own alcohol. There will be roughly 25 firemen and their wives/girlfriends/significant others in attendence. One couple is bringing a spiral ham. Another is bringing can drinks. A third and fourth are bringing something that I have now forgotten. A fifth is bringing some dessert something or other. One wife sent over a crapload of Christmas napkin wrapped silverware. And I? am at a total loss for what to do. I need to go get plates and napkins and cups. I need to dust and mop and vacuum. I'm thinking of a cheese tray and a veggie tray and some chips and dips. Any other exciting ideas?

Fun Facts

1. The agitator thingie on my washing machine is broken. DH has ordered the new part. It will be in some time next week. Thankfully, DH was pretty much caught up on all our laundry.

2. It is raining outside. It has only rained like twice since September's hurricanes.

3. My dog actually went outside to go potty in the rain. She would hold her business for Noah's 40 day and 40 night flood under normal circumstances. I think she forgot what rain is.

4. The moronic weatherman is predicting flurries for Friday night. That makes twice so far this fall we've had winter weather. WTF is going on in Texas?

5. We've only had snow 2 times on Christmas Day in 80 years. This year? There's a chance of it.

6. My employee number for our new fingerprint time clock at work is 19. 19 is not good. I do not like the number 19.

7. All lists must end with a 7.

Well.

Rotten2 had her Church School Christmas Program tonight. She was an angel. She was adorable. She knew all her lines! She knew all the dance moves. She was great!

Here we have Rotten2 singing "Silent Night"

Rotten2 is on the far left. One of her best friends is right next to her in black and white. Down on the bottom row in the red pajamas are my nephews. The youngest did amazingly well. The older? Well, he stayed on stage.

Oh. And did I mention....Rotten2, my darling sweet lovable adorable angelic child, had the ONLY CROOKED HALO IN THE ENTIRE CHURCH!!!!! We (my ex inlaws and I) all decided that was her daddy coming out in her. *snort*

I could gripe and bitch....

about this horrible, awful, terrible, no-good day. But I won't. Suffice it to say, between a flat tire that can't be fixed and a root canal and going back to the lion's den after 3 days in bed AND our office Christmas party where I couldn't drink because of the meds I'm on, it wasn't pretty.

Except, we got our Christmas bonus - which will probably pay for my root canal - and a good talk with the CEO - who is upping my hourly pay to compensate for the loss of my quarterly bonus and hopes that will help maintain my positive attitude and wonderful contributions to the company. Damn, it's nice to hear a bit of appreciation from him sometimes.

The kids are now camping out on the living room floor. SpongeBob is on the tv. DH is at work. It's Friday night and I should be vegged out with my puter and a glass of wine or rum and coke. But I'm vegged out with my puter and a bottle of water and a Lortab. Life is good. Right?

********

In other news, I pose the following question:
MTW, Nookie, Lightsy - may I linkie you?

********

Have a great weekend, if I don't see you again before Monday. I hope to address Christmas cards, get a bit of shopping done and take a nap or two. *smoooooch*

ACK!! Iced in....

My face has gone down some. It's now only about 50% swollen. Still quite ugly. The pain is gone - at least, as long as I remember to take my Lortab. *half grin cause I still can't smile for the swelling*

No school for the Rotten's today. We had an 8 hour ice storm last night that resulted in everything being covered in about 1/4 - 1/2" of ice. Yeeps! As it is, us Texans can't drive on ice, let alone LOTS of ice. High temp today? 31 degrees. Low tonight? 19 degrees. Lovely.

And Carey, I didn't put the wine in a box, so no worries, sweetie. And Breezy, that box of books sounds perfect. I have a book to send you...or Glow....or Nookie....whomever wants it. It's an older Janet Evanovich book I found at my bookstore. Cute, quick read.

*smooches* to everyone. I missed you guys too!

I'm alive

Or so the ER doc says. I'm not so sure.

I've been fighting a sinus infection for the last week or so. Woke up Tuesday AM running a low grade fever and generally feeling like smashed shit. Called in to work, took the kids to school and went to my doctor's office without an appointment. They squished me in and confirmed that the minor swelling on my cheek was due to the sinus infection and my 160/100 blood pressure was due to the Nyquil and Sudafed combo and facial pain. She gave me two prescriptions for 875 mg horsepills of Amoxil and 800 mg of some horsepill decongestant and sent me on my merry way. Came home and crashed. I slept off and on from 10am until 4pm, when I finally rose from the dead only to discover that the entire left side of my face was swollen beyond recognition. Called my doc's office and they said to monitor the swelling and my blood pressure closely and go to the ER if it got worse. At this point my bp was hanging in around 140/90, so I wasn't too concerned about that. The pain was killing me, so I took 3 Advil and went back to bed. Dipshit's mom kept the kids because she refused to send them home with me while I was that sick. This morning, I woke up to find the swelling had gotten worse and my left eye was nearly swollen shut. This was not the work of a sinus infection. So I called DH on his way home from work and told him that he was going to be taking me to the ER.

Seven hours, a CT scan, an IV of antibiotics, an IV of Demoral, 4 vials of blood drawn, and a new prescription for Lortab later? I have a very low white blood cell count, a minor sinus infection, and my teeth are causing this massive swelling. I didn't know anything was wrong with my teeth, but apparently I do. So I have found a new dentist and shall be calling in the morning for an emergency appointment.

That? is where I've been.

Dumb question

Can a bottle of wine go bad? I discovered a half bottle of wine in the back of our drinks fridge while cleaning it out. I thought I had finished it off a couple months ago. And it appears that the kids hid it behind the 75 bottles of water they keep in there.

So. Safe? Not so much?

Where's our boxed wine expert when she's needed? Oh yeah. Pennsylvania. Hmph.

Highs and Lows

I am on the emotional merry go round from hell. Yesterday was one of those days where I was at the top of my game at work. Nothing was stopping me. We had a manager's meeting with the President of the company and one of his colleagues. Ideas were rolling, I received a couple of amazing compliments. It was great. I swear, one of these days, I'm going to open my mouth one too many times with a bright idea (read: common sense) and end up responsible for a whole lot more than my little department. I had a good meeting afterwards with my boss. We came to common terms. I'm now waiting to see what he offers me. I haven't had one of those days in a long, long time. And I enjoyed it. And quite a few commented on it.

Then I was on my way home and my ex called. We got into an hour long screaming match. Suffice it to say, the kids' lives will change dramatically due to this. I will not be accused of using anyone to keep my children happy. If his family wants to put the guilt on me for the things their son refuses to do, then I will ensure that they do not have any reason to take out their anger at him on me. Or my children. The classic line though? My ex believes he is a responsible parent.

It was all so totally unbelievable. I went from the top of the world to feeling pretty low. And even now, I'm pretty low. I've gone out of my way many, many times to make sure the kids were with their family on days my ex didn't have the kids for family functions, etc. And now it's being thrown in my face. Well...the divorce decree is out. I will follow it, but there will be nothing else extra. I will contact a family lawyer on Monday to deal with the Attorney General's office for me. The kids will probably switch school districts. And life will go on.

Today, I sit here in my house. DH is at work. The kids are with their dad. I had every intention of going shopping, paying bills and just relaxing. Instead, I'm trying desperately to pull myself out of this funk and enjoy my day while researching the school district out here.

********************

In other news, I hope Nookie, Carey, Breezy, Jen, and whomever I have forgotten have a wonderful time at Glowbug's reception.

*smooches*

Randomness...

I have been insanely busy at work this week. For some reason, they seem to think I need to earn my paycheck. *rolls eyes*

*********

I am ringing the bells for the Salvation Army tomorrow for an hour. I enjoy it, it feels like I'm helping out in a very small way. But, I feel like a total moron standing out in front of the store ringing that bell. Closer to Christmas, I will hate those bell ringers and their annoying jingle jangle bells.

********

I have a Saturday to myself this week. I have no idea what to do. Maybe I'll try to finish some of my Christmas shopping. Maybe.

********

I found out tonight that my ex's cousin, who lives near me and doesn't speak to my ex, is was diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes a couple months ago.

********

My ex's cousin brought me venison jerky tonight. That was my dinner. Along with a couple of beers. Yum.

*******

Help. I'm desperate.

I am so tired of my kids. They've been home for just over 24 hours and I can't wait to take them to school in the morning. Between Rotten1 constantly antagonizing his sister, no matter how much trouble it lands him in, and Rotten2 thinking she rules the roost, whining, and thinking what she wants is law, no matter how many times she is sent to her room or has toys taken away - I am going to SCREAM!

Oh. Wait. I did that already. About 85 times in the last 24 hours.

I've tried to remain calm. I've totally lost it. I've screamed. Yelled. Ignored. Every trick in the book. Nothing works anymore. *sigh* What do I do now?

**********

On a happier note, this is my 100th blog entry.

For Rose

You who dwell in the shelter of the Lord,
Who abide in His shadow for life,
Say to the Lord, "My Refuge,
My Rock in Whom I trust."
And He will raise you up on eagle's wings,
Bear you on the breath of dawn,
Make you to shine like the sun,
And hold you in the palm of His Hand.

The snare of the fowler will never capture you,
And famine will bring you no fear;
Under His Wings your refuge,
His faithfulness your shield.
And He will raise you up on eagle's wings,
Bear you on the breath of dawn,
Make you to shine like the sun,
And hold you in the palm of His Hand.

You need not fear the terror of the night,
Nor the arrow that flies by day,
Though thousands fall about you,
Near you it shall not come.
And He will raise you up on eagle's wings,
Bear you on the breath of dawn,
Make you to shine like the sun,
And hold you in the palm of His Hand.

For to His angels He's given a command,
To guard you in all of your ways,
Upon their hands they will bear you up,
Lest you dash your foot against a stone.
And He will raise you up on eagle's wings,
Bear you on the breath of dawn,
Make you to shine like the sun,
And hold you in the palm of His Hand.
And hold you in the palm of His Hand.

**********************

This hymn was sung at my mom's, my aunt's, and my grandpa's funeral. For some reason, it's always brought me a little bit of peace. Maybe it can do the same for you.

*hugs*

*smooch*

I've missed you guys! I took Wed. off of work to stay home with the kids. Ended up taking them down to the lake to their grandparents for the rest of the weekend, instead of spending quality time with them then shipping them off early Thursday. *shrug*

Spent Turkey Day cooking a small (turkey, stuffing, cornbread, french green beans, sweet potatos, and gravy) dinner for DH and me. Did absolutely nothing after that. Took a nap at one point.

Today, I decided I wasn't going to get up at the ass crack of dawn like I have for the past several years to hit the sales. There wasn't much that enticed me, if the truth were to be told. So, I woke up about 8 and took a shower. Got dressed and headed out to Walmart. They didn't have any more of the $6 jeans for Rotten2. However, they did have the $4 jammie pants for her and the $7 jeans for Rotten1. Most importantly? They had Dayquil and Nyquil and Advil and Robitussin. Hit up the dollar store for some gift wrap and headed home. Realized after getting home that I had wanted to go to Target. Decided I'd do that tomorrow. DH took me to lunch. I came home and took a nap. Then I drug out all my Christmas stuff. Our tree is up, stockings are hung, and it looks quite festive around my living room.

Tomorrow will be the 4th full day that DH and I have been home together alone. Thank goodness for monthly visitors and fire calls. He'd probably have driven me insane otherwise.

Hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving Day. Mine was complete - I burned my finger and cut another one while dealing with the turkey. *grin*

When did I become one of THEM?!?!!?

So I headed to the mall tonight to get my wedding ring cleaned and inspected. I hate the mall. HATE. Especially this particular mall, which happens to be the nearest mall - as in 45 minutes from my home. Because, you see, I'm a minority at this mall. I? am not a gansta chick. In fact, in my boots and jeans, I tend to stand out like a sore thumb.

Anyway, on my way to the mall, which I detest, I realized something. I have become one of THEM. You know, the idiot in the far right hand lane of the freeway that everyone passes. Who is driving FIVE, yes, I said 5, miles an hour OVER the speed limit.

I? am apparently becoming a senior citizen in a huge tank or some such shit. This sucks.

Definitions

IGNORANT:
Main Entry: ig·no·rant
Pronunciation: 'ig-n(&-)r&nt
Function: adjective
1 a : destitute of knowledge or education ; also : lacking knowledge or comprehension of the thing specified b : resulting from or showing lack of knowledge or intelligence 2 : UNAWARE, UNINFORMED- ig·no·rant·ly adverb- ig·no·rant·ness nounsynonyms IGNORANT, ILLITERATE, UNLETTERED, UNTUTORED, UNLEARNED

DIM:
Main Entry: 1dim
Pronunciation: 'dim
Function: adjective
Inflected Form(s): dim·mer; dim·mestEtymology: Middle English, from Old English dimm; akin to Old High German timber dark
1 a : emitting a limited or insufficient amount of light b : DULL, LUSTERLESS c : lacking pronounced, clear-cut, or vigorous quality or character
2 a : seen indistinctly or without clear outlines or details b : perceived by the senses or mind indistinctly or weakly : FAINT c : having little prospect of favorable result or outcome d : characterized by an unfavorable, skeptical, or pessimistic attitude -- usually used in the phrase take a dim view of
3 : not perceiving clearly and distinctly
4 : DIM-WITTED- dim·ly adverb- dim·ma·ble /'di-m&-b&l/ adjective- dim·ness noun

ANTEBELLUM:
Main Entry: an·te·bel·lum
Pronunciation: "an-ti-'be-l&m
Function: agitator
1 : to show her own ignorance and dimness when attempting to make an invalid point about varying subjects

All from Merriam-Webster.com

The Elderly Couple

The husband leans over and asks his wife, "Do you remember the first time we had sex together over fifty years ago? We went behind this very tavern where you leaned against the back fence and I made love to you."
"Yes, she says, "I remember it well"
"Ok," he says, "How about taking a stroll around there again and we can do it for old time's sake?"
"Oh Charlie, you old devil, that sounds like a crazy, but very good idea!"
There's a police officer sitting in the next booth listening to all this, and having a chuckle to himself. He thinks, "I've got to see these two old-timers having sex against a fence. I'll just keep an eye on them so there's no trouble." So he follows them.

They walk haltingly along, leaning on each other for support, aided by walking sticks. Finally they get to the back of the tavern and make their way to the fence. The old lady lifts her skirt and the old man drops his trousers. As she leans against the fence, the old man moves in.

Suddenly they erupt into the most furious sex that the watching policeman has ever seen. This goes on for about forty minutes. Finally, they both collapse panting on the ground. The policeman is amazed. He thinks he has learned something about life that he didn't know. After about half an hour of lying on the ground recovering, the old couple struggle to their feet and put their clothes back on.

The Policeman, still watching thinks, this was truly amazing I've got to ask them what their secret is. As the couple passes, he says to them, "Excuse me, but that was something else. You must've had a fantastic sex life together. Is there some sort of secret to this?"

The old man says, "Fifty years ago that wasn't an electric fence."

********************

Why does this remind me of Carey and Dweeze behind the 7-11, even though they aren't old?

So far this morning, I've cleaned the kitchen, done the dishes, swept and mopped. Apparently my family thinks a magic fairy cleans the front of cabinets and refridgerators. I've vacuumed and dusted the living room. I've finished the last load of laundry. I watched Glowie's wedding, which was amazingly beautiful. She and Shawn are gorgeous. I've bathed the dog. I've showered and dressed - okay, so I'm wearing no makeup and I've put on my baseball cap, so what?

DH is at work 'til 11pm and the kids are with their dad until at least Tuesday. I'm seriously contemplating rearranging the living room. I need to go have my wedding ring cleaned and inspected. I need to go to the grocery store. And hopefully, my bookstore is open today.

It's only 9:24am.

Remember my GRRRR! post?

I did it a few Mondays back about mortgage companies and lawyers and such? Okay, well...fast forward. I talked to the mortgage company a few times. I talked to their lawyer. I talked to my friend who is a lawyer. Their lawyer knew nothing, so it means they were just fvcking with my head about the foreclosure crap. I called back today to make my payment - that they refused to accept a couple weeks ago. And talked to my account rep - who refused my call two weeks ago and said I needed to talk to their lawyer.

Come to find out, the whole reason they were acting all bad ass is because I'm finally almost at a point where I'm caught up from the ex's 2 and a half years of non-payment. I'm $676.00 away from having the past due balance gone + this month's payment and next month's payment. That's it. So guess what? I worked out a deal with him to make a payment today. And a payment in 2 weeks. And he's going to cut my late fees in half. And by the end of the year, I will have it all taken care of. Then we'll be back to normal. No more double payments. No more stressing about whether or not they'll accept my payments or decide to be assholes. Nothing.

I'm excited!!! This is the last of the ex's bills I'm paying off. Except the daycare. But I'm not thinking about that.

Now - go see the Rotten2 picture! *points down*

Rambling...

Today was Rotten2's Kindergarten Thanksgiving Feast. So very cute! They all had made headbands like the Native Americans wore and vests with symbols on them, similar to what the Natives might have worn. Did you know you can't call them Indians anymore? It's not proper terminology. Oops. They sang several songs they'd made up and we ate our feast - turkey sammiches, pickles, cheese, fruit snacks, cucumbers, chips and dips, and blueberry muffins.

Rotten2 went back to school today. For a whole hour. While I was entering the kindergarten room, the school nurse came to find me. He'd gone to her because he still didn't feel good. I swear, if his father had half a brain and could see that the child didn't feel good - why the fvck did he send him to school? Ugh. So the nurse let him hang out in her office (since he wasn't running fever and had had 3 doses of amoxil) while I attended the kindergarten program. Then I took him back to work with me, where he somehow managed to con the CEO out of a couple of cough drops, charmed several of the women, and then we left.

Now I'm at home, the kids are down for the night, I'm trying to relax and DH is driving me insane. And now I feel like I'm getting sick.

So what have I missed since I've been otherwise occupied by real life?

Inquiring minds wanna know....

When do you fill up your gas tank? Before it's empty? At a quarter of a tank? Half a tank? Does it ever run on fumes?

Crap! Sick Again.

Rotten1 is at work with me for a bit this morning. I went to pick him up at his grandma's last night after a meeting and he wasn't feeling well. So I asked what was bothering him. His head. His throat. His tummy. Greeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaat.

So we get home and I check his temperature. Nothing above normal. I look at his throat. Uh oh. Not good. So....here we sit until his doctor's office opens.

Joy.

Glowbug......

I see Shawn signed for your (his) packie last night at 6:21 pm.

And? I really really wanna come to the reception. *pout* I hate being broke.

*YAAAAWN*

I am so tired from this weekend. Rotten2 went to her slumber party. She had a great time. Called about 11:15 to tell me good night. And? she was the first one to go to sleep. Rotten1 had a friend spend the night while his sister was gone. It was between midnight and 1am that the two boys went to sleep. Of course, they woke up at 6:59am.

Yesterday afternoon we had our Cub Scout Rocket Launch. That was fun to watch. Afterwards, I came home and made dinner - chicken fried steaks, mac n cheese, rolls and peas. Blech. NOT my fave meal. But it's what DH wanted, so I figured I'd humor him for the evening. At least, in that small way. *grin* The kids had bathed, been fed and vegged out in front of the tv from 6-8 pm. They don't do that often. They were both worn out.

And this morning, I woke up with a sore throat. Lovely. I so hope I'm not getting sick. It's supposed to get cold this week, finally. Our high today and tomorrow is 75. The rest of the week? It's not supposed to get above 55. And it's supposed to be in the 30s at night. Brrrrrr!

*hugs* for Carey

*hugs*

Hope all goes well today with Mayor Daddy Knockers!!

Have a great time in Vegas.

Can I do this?

For the first time in almost 8 years, I'm seriously thinking about returning to college to finish my degree. I am ONE hour shy of my Associates. Why one hour? I got pregnant prior to my last semester in college. And that one hour I needed was a PE credit. Yeah. PE. How pitiful is that?

So, I've been thinking and tossing it around for awhile now. I don't want to continue on the path I had before. I just can't get excited over being an elementary school teacher any more. My second love, and my "minor" had been Sociology. And I'm seriously thinking that Sociology or Social Work is the path I want to take. I've contacted my previous college for a transcript. I've contacted the local extension of a major university for info on their degree program.

And now? Now I'm scared. Can I really go back and do this? I want to finish my degree. I don't want to be stuck in a dead end job forever. I want to make a difference somewhere. I want to show my children how important college is. But for some irrational reason, I'm skeered. Afraid of failure. I never had this problem at 18. Ten years later, I do.

I know lots of people go back to school. I know lots of people still in school. Why do I view myself differently? Mainly because I'm afraid to interrupt my time with my kids. But, I always said that when my youngest started kindergarten, I'd go back. And that is now. What am I waiting for? It's sure not the winning lotto ticket :) Speaking of which, I guess I better start checking into financial aid packages too.

I can do this, right?

Random Crap

I took Larry's fire truck bank to the bank at lunch to cash in his change. He had 1 quarter, a shitload of dimes and pennies and a few nickels. Total? $17.03
*******
I went to the DMV to renew my drivers license at lunch. It's only been 2 years and 5 months since I moved. And four and a half months since I got married. I was in line behind a man who was renewing his license and a 65+ year old man who couldn't stand up straight taking his CDL test. It still only took 10 minutes.
******
Tonight we have to finish Rotten2's Turkey Project. I think all that's left are the feathers and the sand. I hope that's all that's left.
******
Rotten2 has been invited to her very first slumber party. She's only spent the night at a friend's house once before. I'm quite nervous about the midnight "I wanna come hoooooooooome" phone call.
******
I need to take the Rottens to have Christmas photos taken. Or I need to get off my ass and take them myself. Either way? They have NOTHING Christmas-y to wear. Yikes.

I miss Breezy.....

She's in Vegas playing all day at some silly conference and partying the night away. And she didn't take me. *pout*

SO! I think, in her absence, we should have our very own poker party. Right.Now.

Who has the cards?
*passes out cigars and goofy poker player hats*

Stolen from Snuffleupagus (Arkie)....

Bert You scored 77% Organization, 46% abstract, and 57% extroverted!

First, this test measured how organized you are. Some muppets like Cookie Monster make big messes, while others like Bert are quite anal about things being clean. Second, this test measured if you prefer a concrete or an abstract viewpoint. For the purposes of this test, concrete people are considered to gravitate more to mathematical and logical approaches, whereas abstract people are more the dreamers and artistic type. Third, this test measured if you are more of an introvert or an extrovert. By definition, an introvert concentrates more on herself and an extrovert focuses more on others. In this test an introvert was somebody that either tends to spend more time alone or thinks more about herself. You are very organized, both concrete and abstract, and both introverted and extroverted. Here is why are you Bert. You are both very organized. You almost always know where your belongings are and you prefer things neat. You may even enjoy cleaning and find it therapeutic. Bert is a big neat freak and gets quite annoyed when Ernie makes a big mess. You both are sometimes concrete and sometimes abstract thinkers. Bert is probably a bit more concrete in his bottlecap collecting addiction and his love of the weather. He does show his abstract side when he sings and performs his "Doin' The Pidgeon" song. You have a good balance in your life. You know when to be logical at times, but you also aren't afraid to explore your dreams and desires... within limits of course. You are both somewhat introverted. Bert is probably more introverted, because he spends most of his time either with Ernie or alone. Still he has no problem being around other people in his role as chairman of "The National Association of 'W' Lovers." Like Bert, you probably like to have some time to yourself, but you do appreciate spending time with your friends, and you aren't scared of social situations. The other possible characters are Oscar the Grouch Big Bird Snuffleupagus Ernie Elmo Kermit the Frog Grover Cookie Monster Guy Smiley The Count

So.

It's Wednesday. The middle of the week. And I have nothing to say. Nothing.

Except...who got banned now?

Companion to MMs blog ....

What is your favorite color?

What is your favorite scent?

What is your favorite type of fun read?

What is your email addy?

And yes, #4 is optional.

Well, it's almost over...

Monday will be over for another week in just a few hours. Day got a bit better. I'm holding off on the loan until I talk to my lawyer again. I hate to get a loan on something that hopefully I can have taken care of by the end of the month. Cross your body parts, say your prayers for me (and Coco) and hopefully it will all work out the way I want it to.

Anyway.....enough of the doom, gloom and anger. What's going right in your life these days? I had a conference with Rotten2's teacher. Besides her being bored because she knows her ABCs and 123s, she's entirely too talkative. Well..no shit. She's my kid. And? she's b.o.r.e.d. Thankfully, kindergarten will be picking up a bit since the first 9 weeks are over. Rotten1 is doing well. We've found a new interest - science. And building things. If I find one more KNex piece or Magnetix piece...I'm going to scream. But, it's constructive. And he enjoys it. So, I can't complain too much. I have, however, seen quite my fill of motorcycles, dragsters and fire trucks built out of Legos, KNex and whatnot this week. *grin*

GRRRRRR!

I hate Mondays.
I hate my ex-husband.
I hate mortgage companies.
I hate lawyers.

I'm having a really shitty Monday.

Weekend plans?

Alright, I've had a realization this morning. I? have.no.life. Nope. Not an ounce of one. My kids are going to their dad's for the weekend and I have no plans. Nothing. Larry is getting excited about finishing the south fence in our yard. I need to make a run to the beer store and the book store and clean my truck and clean my house. And? that is the extent of my plans.

Please, please PLEASE tell me that someone out there has a life that's much more interesting than mine.

I need this print

It's by my favorite western artist - Tim Cox. It matches the other print I have.

Hump Day!!!

Woohooo!

So...everyone do the hump day dance. Or not. Whatever.

Measurements, please

NO! Not those measurements! Unless, of course, you want to share. What I'm really looking for is height. How tall are you? Am I really a step away from midgetdom?

Halloween Part Two

I don't care if vampires aren't supposed to be cute. I don't care that fairy princesses are supposed to fly (and can't).

We had a wonderful 57 degree evening with a starry sky and a bit of blustery wind.

Where in the world is......

Iggy?

I've emailed her. I've checked her blog. She's hiding!!!

Iggy, Come out, Come out, Wherever you are!!!

Happy Halloween!

Happy Halloween!!

Here's another little game to play. I promise it won't scare the bejeezus out of you all.
http://www.toilette-humor.com/flash/carve_pumpkin.swf

The fairy princess and the vampire with his sword and I will be knocking on doors and screaming Trick or Treat! in the 30 mph winds and (hopefully not) rain.

*pumpkinsmooches*

ETA: I've now typed out this effing post FOUR times. If it doesn't go through this time, you're all shit out of luck on a Halloween post from me.

Drunk or Sober - You can play too

Check out this game I was sent today.

*smooch*

Happy Birthday Carey!!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CAREY!!!!!!!!

*smooch*

Guess what I got you?

Stepping on crickets is bad luck???

According to Rotten1, it is. And apparently, Larry must have stepped on more than one for both of his cars to break at 5 am today. Yep. This is the logic that goes on in the morning in my house.

*snort*

Larry didn't find it nearly as humorous as I did.

Say Hello to Sonya!

Okay, everyone, say hi to Sonya. She's my RL friend and has been for quite a while. Her ex-hubby and my ex-dipshit used to work together. Then they split up, we lost touch, my ex and I split up and she and I "found" each other in a bar one night. *grin* She's a sweetie...and will probably fit in great with you all. Just be nice, k?

And Sonya - I love ya and I miss you!!!! Forgive the crazies around here...but you'd have to know that I would have tons of silliness around here. And? Drinks are not uncommon at any given moment in time. Just use your imagination and let loose. Shouldn't be any different from any other time we've been around each other!

Now...everyone introduce yourself to Sonya.

*smooch*

So.....um......uh.....

Carey said I have to update. So I'm updating. I don't know what to say. My furnace is working again. It's chilly outside. My daughter wore a Christmas tshirt to school today. *sigh* I love it when they stay at their dad's on a school night. Argh. I got to be the "sweet bitch" to my ex today. He made the mistake of telling me he had a job interview today at 9am. So I just had to call and see how it went. We're having mac and cheese and weiners for dinner. Rotten1 is trying to kick me off my computer to play a game.

And that? Is my life in a nutshell.

I? am pathetic.

I'm supposed to be paying bills. Really. I am. But no. I'm playing on blogs, checking out the other place, checking out the Rottens' teachers' websites, googling miscellaneous things, looking at kids clothes on Kohls.com and Target.com....Must.Pay.Bills.

NOW!

ETA: The reason I don't want to pay bills? My checking account balance is higher than three digits - meaning there's more than $9.99 in there. And it looks so pretty in my little checkbook register.

Wooooo!

I got my little bonus check today! Hooray! I get to pay off bills. Joy. So...if you had an extra...say...$1000 dollars and half went to bills, what would you do with the other half?

I? am a wuss.

There. I admitted it. After 3 ten hour days at work on my feet in the production area filling in for one of my employees who is out sick, I am totally and completely exhausted. Thank goodness the kids are with the ex-dumbass tonight. I got home around 7, took a loooooong soak in a hot tub and am vegging out now with a glass of wine.

Hope I can stay awake long enough for Lost. May have to set the VCR just in case.

*smoooooooooches* to all of you!

Oh? And Carey? Check your email. *grin* I did delete the best one though. :(

Fire Department Open House

Today was the annual Fire Department Open House. Every year we end Fire Prevention Week with a big ol' party at the station. This year was even bigger than before - and more special to many of the guys because LifeFlight brought out their brand new helicopter to show off AND we just purchased a brand new $193,000 engine!! We all had a pretty good time, met the new guy who's running for County Commissioner, listened to a pretty decent local garage band and watched the kids run around and climb all over the trucks. Do you have any idea how small a trauma helicopter really is? Sure as shit isn't as big as you'd think! On the left, Rotten1 is sitting in the back, behind the stretcher wearing one of our friends' flight helmets. On the right, Rotten2 is standing on TOP of the old engine.

And somehow, during the course of the day, Larry and I managed to get volunteered to host this year's Christmas party. Apparently, we hold the reputation as the ones to throw the best party. I have no idea where they would have gotten that idea. *snort*

*happy dance*

It's Friday, It's Friday!!! Hooooray! This week has been waaaaay too long.

Now, on to the seriousness of this post. Have you ever craved a margarita so much that you wake up thinking about it? I have GOT to go restock the liquor tonight.

Thursday AM Adventures

This morning began like any other. We all got up, got dressed, ate breakfast and headed out the door. I stopped and got my Coke. We headed off for school. Five minutes down the road, Rotten2 requests "her" CD that Larry "gave" her. It's a dance mix CD with the top songs from 1998(?). Song 6 please. Thank you. And we head off into:

Hi Barbie! Hi Ken!
Do you wanna go for a ride?
Sure Ken! Jump In...
I'm a barbie girl, in the barbie world
Life in plastic, it's fantastic!
You can brush my hair, undress me everywhere
Imagination, life is your creation
Come on Barbie, let's go party!
I'm a barbie girl, in the barbie world
Life in plastic, it's fantastic!
You can brush my hair, undress me everywhere
Imagination, life is your creation
I'm a blond bimbo girl, in the fantasy world
Dress me up, make it tight, I'm your dolly
You're my doll, rock'n'roll, feel the glamour in pink,
Kiss me here, touch me there, hanky panky...
You can touch, you can play, if you say: "I'm always yours"

Which is then followed with Rotten1's request for Song 8...

This goes out to all the Women in the world
Especially her You know it
Don't even matter your age
Don't even matter yo colour
Yo fellas I ain't Forget about y'all
This is for everybody Who like to dance
Just listen to what I'm sayin'
And do it And take a chance
I put my hand upon your hip
When I dip you dip we dip
You put your hand upon my hip
When you dip I dip we dip
I put my hand upon your hip
When I dip you dip we dip
You put yours and I put mine
And we can get down low
And roll it round

And then it's Rotten2's turn....

And she launches into a rousing rendition of:

We got winners, we got losers
Chain smokers and boozers
And we got yuppies, we got bikers
We got thristy hitchhikers
And the girls next door dress up like movie stars
Hmm, hmm, hmm I love this bar
We got cowboys, we got truckers
Broken-hearted fools and suckers
And we got hustlers, we got fighters
Early birds and all-nighters
And the veterans talk about their battle scars
Hmm, hmm, hmm I love this bar
[Chorus:]I love this bar
It's my kind of place
Just walkin' through the front door
Puts a big smile on my face
It ain't too far, come as you are
Hmm, hmm, hmm
I love this bar
I've seen short skirts, we got high-techs
Blue-collar boys and rednecks
And we got lovers, lots of lookers
And I've even seen dancing girls and hookers
And we like to drink our beer from a mason jar
Hmm, hmm, hmm I love this bar

And then we arrive at school...the kids head off to the cafeteria to wait for the bell and I head into Rotten1's class for the parent teacher conference. Where his teacher tells me that he's smart, he's got character, she loves him and he's a wonderful student. Do I know this child? Is he mine? Really? Okay, so I know all of this...but it's always good to hear the child's teacher tell you that he really isn't a little shithead like you tend to think.

Brag Post

Isn't Rotten2 cute??!?!?

Today's Songs and Adventures

Courtesy of Rotten2:

Little Bunny Foo Foo hopping through the forest
scooping up the field mice and bopping them on the head
Down came the Good Fairy and she said,
" Little Bunny Foo Foo, I'll give you three more chances..."

The next day,
Little Bunny Foo Foo hopping through the forest
scooping up the field mice and bopping them on the head
Down came the Good Fairy and she said,
" Little Bunny Foo Foo, I'll give you two more chances..."

The second day,
Little Bunny Foo Foo hopping through the forest
scooping up the field mice and bopping them on the head
Down came the Good Fairy and she said,
" Little Bunny Foo Foo, I'll give you one more chance..."

The third day,
Little Bunny Foo Foo hopping through the forest
scooping up the field mice and bopping them on the head
Down came the Good Fairy and she said,
" Little Bunny Foo Foo, I gave you three chances and now...."

BOOM! You are a GOON!

At this point, Rotten1 is plugging his ears and Rotten2 launches into the Barney song, followed by her ABC's and then...99 Bottles of Coke on the wall.

The joys of our morning drives.....

Rainy Days and Mondays

Talkin' to myself and feelin' old
Sometimes I'd like to quit
Nothing ever seems to fit
Hangin' around
Nothing to do but frown
Rainy Days and Mondays always get me down.
What I've got they used to call the blues
Nothin' is really wrong
Feelin' like I don't belong
Walkin' around
Some kind of lonely clown
Rainy Days and Mondays always get me down.
Funny but it seems I always wind up here with you
Nice to know somebody loves me
Funny but it seems that it's the only thing to do
Run and find the one who loves me.
What I feel has come and gone before
No need to talk it out
We know what it's all about
Hangin' around
Nothing to do but frown
Rainy Days and Mondays always get me down.

Blah....It's Monday. It's chilly and raining. Just blah.

Just because it's a Friday in October

The police arrested Patrick Lawrence, a 22-year-old white male, resident of Dacula, GA, in a pumpkin patch at 11:38 p.m. on Friday. Lawrence will be charged with lewd and lascivious behavior,public indecency, and public intoxication at the Gwinnett Countycourthouse on Monday. The suspect explained that as he was passing a pumpkin patch he decided to stop. "You know, a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and there was no one around here for miles. At least I thought there wasn't," he stated in a phone interview. Lawrence went on to say that he pulled over to the side of the road, picked out a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purposes, cut a hole in it, and proceeded to satisfy his need. "I guess I was just really into it, you know?" he commented with evident embarrassment.

In the process, Lawrence apparently failed to notice a Gwinnett County police car approaching and was unaware of his audience until officer Brenda Taylor approached him. "It was an unusual situation, that's for sure," said officer Taylor. "I walked up to Lawrence and he's...just working away at this pumpkin." Taylor went on to describe what happened when she approached Lawrence. I just went up and said, 'Excuse me sir, but do you realize that you are screwing a pumpkin?' " He froze and was clearly very surprised that I was there, and then looked me straight in the face and said, "A pumpkin? Damn...is it midnight already?"

Minor little teeny tiny rant here....

I swear to God, one of these fucking days, I'm going to go absolutely effing postal on my ex-husband. I am. I swear. And yes, I realize it's now in writing for the entire flipping world to see. I don't care. He's pissed me off AGAIN!

A couple of you may know about the ongoing child support issues that I've had. Suffice it to say, I've gotten next to nothing out of him in two years. We went back to court this past Spring and Summer on a monthly basis because he wasn't paying. The Judge basically put in a court order that said he was to appear at the end of each month with payment in hand. First time he missed a payment or did not pay in full, he went directly to jail, did not pass go, did not collect $200. Well, for three months, he paid at each court date. In full. For the first time. Ever. After three months, they Attorney General's office made the decision that the fucker didn't have to come back to court unless he stopped paying again. And basically overruled the Judge's previous court order. Fast forward to July. No payment. August? No payment. September? Two payments for a grand total of less than half of his regularly scheduled monthly payment. October? So far, no payment. And what is the Attorney General's office saying? Not.a.damn.thing.

Now, I don't necessarily NEED this money. DH and I can pay the bills, feed and clothe my kids, and provide a few small extras. BUT...this moron owes his children (not me! the kids!) almost $10K in past child support. And consequently, I owe daycare almost $4K because of the lack of payments. I'm slowly taking care of the daycare balance, and they are extremely understanding. That's not where I'm pissed. I'm pissed because HE OWES HIS CHILDREN MONEY AND DOESN'T FUCKING GET IT!!!!!

And yes, he works. Contract labor, so they can't take the payments out of his checks. Makes three times what I do on a regular basis. Has no bills to speak of. He lives at his mom's. Just bought a "new" used truck for $1500. Doesn't pay his mom rent. Has a cell phone. Has truck insurance (I think). That's.it.

And he wonders why I just called and bitched him out for lack of payments. And why I'm calling the AG's office. Again.

For Breezy

*smoooooooooooooch*

I can't wait!!!

I am beginning to get excited. I feel almost like my kids. Tomorrow I am taking the day off of work, Larry switched shifts on the ambulance, the kids are out of school - it's FAIR DAY! The State Fair is back in town for the month of October and we are going tomorrow!!! Corny dogs, funnel cakes, beer, silly rides, tons of exhibits. I can't wait!

Almost a relaxing weekend

This was as close to a relaxing weekend that I've had with my kids in a while. That sounds awful, doesn't it? Usually they are so intent on fighting with each other, tattling and whining that it's enough to put me in a nut house. This weekend - for some reason - was a bit different. Friday night we hung out. Saturday morning we cleaned house with minimal fighting. Saturday afternoon we went to lunch at McDonalds (blech) then I dropped Rotten1 off at his buddy's house for the night. They went to the Rangers-Angels game. Rotten1 was so excited! It was cute. Rotten2, DH and I hung out at home, went to dinner, she swam for a while. Then Sunday we finished cleaning the house , picked up Rotten1 (who had spent $27 of his own money at the game and $18 of mine on food, drinks, a tshirt, a Rangers cap and a couple packs of baseball cards) and hung out at the house again. They swam (and DAMN! That water was cold!!) and played - again with minimal fighting. I cooked a big dinner and we baked cookies.

All in all, a pretty decent weekend. How was yours?

How is your Inner Child?

Your Inner Child Is Happy

You see life as simple, and simple is a very good thing. You're cheerful and upbeat, taking everything as it comes. And you decide not to worry, even when things look bad. You figure there's just so many great things to look forward to.

How Is Your Inner Child?

Online vs. Real Life

Between Monsty's post about insecurities and Rose's gift to us all...I've done some thinking. Scary, I know. But I've been thinking about the differences in my online persona and my real life self. And while there are a couple, they are pretty minor. I am who I am - most of the time. But online, with all of you, I don't generally sweat the small stuff, I don't pay much attention to the important issues - I just have fun. Once in a while, I'll go off on a tangent - most recently about the hurricanes - but I try to stay away from the serious side of life. And much like my real life, so much of what I do is about my kids. Which brings me to yet another post for another day......But...for now, I pose these questions to you all.

How different are you online (the other place, blogs) than in real life? If there are major differences in the way you conduct yourself, which way would you rather be all of the time?

Alligator Shoes???

A young blonde was on vacation and driving through the Everglades. She wanted to take home a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking. After becoming very frustrated with the "no haggle on prices" attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde shouted, "Well then, maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator, so I can get a pair of shoes for free!"

The shopkeeper said with a sly, knowing smile, "Little lady, just go and give it a try!" The blonde headed out toward the swamps, determined to catch an alligator. Later in the day, as the shopkeeper is driving home, he pulls over to the side of the levee where he spots the same young woman standing waist deep in the murky bayou water, shotgun in hand. Just then, he spots a huge 9-foot gator swimming rapidly toward her.

With lightning speed, she takes aim, kills the creature and hauls it onto the slimy bank of the swamp. Lying nearby were 7 more of the dead creatures, all lying on their backs. The shopkeeper stood on the bank, watching in silent amazement. The blonde struggled and flipped the gator onto its back. Rolling her eyes skyward she screams in great frustration, "THIS ONE'S BAREFOOT, TOO!

The Rottens love each other....Really....

How much do they love each other?

*Rotten2 was cleaning her room. And couldn't understand why her brother didn't help her. Well...it's because he hadn't been told he'd get paid to do it. Even though he did help make the mess.
*Rotten1 called his sister by the name "Weirdo" four different times throughout the course of the evening.
*Rotten2 through ranch dressing into her brother's hair because he was sitting at the table eating dinner with her.
*Rotten1 decided to help his sister get her dessert from the cabinet. By shoving her out of the way screaming "I said I'd get it for you!" Rotten2 then proceeded to slam shut the cabinet door on him.

But really...they love each other. They said so tonight. After a fifteen minute lecture on how to treat your sibling. During which I told them I was fed up with the crap and if they didn't start treating each other with love and respect (our word for the month of September - and probably October at this rate), they would no longer live in my house. Which prompted a round of "No MOOOMMMMMYYYYY! We have to live with you! You make our life happy!"

Little shits.