Who takes care of the bill paying in your household? Do you have individual bank accounts or a joint account? If you have individual accounts, do you both contribute the same amount to bill paying? Here's the background. DH and I have individual accounts that our paychecks are deposited into. We also have a joint account that I pay all of the bills out of. Every other Friday when I get paid, I go deposit a significant (80% or better) chunk of my check into our joint account. On Saturday, I pay bills. Lately, I have had to ask DH a few times for money to pay bills (40% of his check or so). I am the primary breadwinner and I also am the only one who has a car payment at the moment. We get paid on the same day. This isn't a new routine. I've decided that I'm no longer going to ask him to give our joint account money. If the bills don't get paid because he didn't put his share into our account, then so be it. It's Thursday afternoon and we got paid last Friday. No $$$ yet. Can we say frustration?
Now, I'm also irritated because this weekend is Rotten1's birthday. He's decided he doesn't want a party like we've done for every birthday he's ever had. He wants his best friend since birth to come over and spend the night Saturday. Okay, no big deal there. DH mentioned last weekend that he might take the boys to play laser tag on Saturday for Rotten1's birthday. Well, Rotten1's friend's mom called last night and they have a Cub Scout thing on Saturday night. No biggie. We'll work around that. So I call DH today to let him know all of this....he tells me to do whatever Rotten1 and I want and we can go do whatever, whenever. UGH! I remind him about laser tag. He's not sure he wants to take the boys. What.the.fuck.
I'm about ready to tell him to pull his head out of his ass and get with the program. Never, in the four years I've known him, has he been as frustrating and irritating as he has been this past week. And I'm not even PMSing!
15 comments:
Cavemen. Ugh.
We used to have separate accouts right before we were married (and living together), but it was such a hassle to transfer moolah. So I really have no advice. We just barely make our situation work, but it IS easier with one joint account.
I think one thing that bothers me about marriage is always having to be the social organizer. If I ask Chris on Friday "so, are you and Frank doing something this weekend like you were talking about?" I'd get some vague, "yeah" and I'd ask "when" and he'd say "well, I don't know if he's still planning on coming over. We haven't really talked about it" and we'd have to put all our plans on hold until I could get him to pick up a phone.
Oh momma. I'm so sorry that he's being an ass. Money is a huge issue. I had the same issue with my ex. Bf and I have separate and I pay him rent, in cash. We have different spending habits (he's good - I'm bad).
The not following thru on the activity with the kid is bad. Kids trust that we will do what we say.
Hugs and I hope you too work this out!!!
Well, on an up note, he only mentioned the laser tag to me, not to Rotten1.
*hangs head* It's not a man thing. Michelle and I have separate accounts because I am so bad with money. The only thing in both of our names is the house, utilities and one credit card. Which I am not allowed to use.
Michelle pays the mortgage and the home owners association fees on the first of the month and she pays the bills on the 15th of every month. She then has to remind me to transfer the money to her account. I never not deposit into her account but she does have to remind me every single time. If she left the bills up to me they would get paid every two or three months just like MY bills do. *grin*
I had to take care of the bills when I was married. We only had the one checking account, but his check didn't always make it to the account.
*hugs*
Okay, DH has earned at least part of a brownie point back. He called from work tonight and sorta kinda apologized for being such a pain lately. And he was really sweet. So......we'll see.
DH and I have one joint account. Back when we had two jobs and no kids, I paid bills as soon as they came in. Nowadays, we have a number of bills that come directly out of our account like mortgage and insurance. So we have to juggle what gets paid when, especially since I no longer work. DH does the paying and doesn't need to be reminded. We do all that over the phone, so it's really easy anyway.
I often complain (inside my head, since saying out loud has no effect) that if I don't do something or plan something, it doesn't get done. Honestly, we would sit around all day doing nothing ever if it weren't for me. I wonder if he would even have registered DD for school if I hadn't done it. If he knows we're going out, he'll sit on the couch until I say "time to go". Will he pack a drink/snack/toy for the kids? No? Will he grab a drink for himself? Oh sure, yeah.
Without me, no-one would do laundry. Without me, no-one would eat.
Sorry.
I have no advice, but pots of empathy. *hug*
*smooch* to Seana.
I have to admit, most of the time, DH is really good about doing things around the house, excluding the last few weeks. Well, he did clean the kitchen Sunday. He just has no money sense and sometimes it irks the crap out of me. Especially since he's been an overall PITA this week.
I am *so* with you on this. I can't believe how hateful I can feel towards DH lately.
{{hugs}}
It's all men, but I now have no problem telling (yes telling not asking) DH to transfer some money into our joint account so I can pay HIS bills. He has a set amount direct deposited into our checking, but if he doesn't work enough nothing gets deposited.
WE have a joint account and I pay them all twice a month online. We want to get separate accounts for personal stuff so buying presents would be a suprise. But we do not have enough money to do that yet!
I hate paying the bills but I have to do it because I am home and DH works and goes to school. Just makes sense that I do it.
We have separate checking accounts and a joint savings. We also have joint credit cards for gas and groceries but I also have my own credit card. It's important to me to have some kind of independance. Also, when I purchase gifts for him, I'd like them to be a surprise.
Our paychecks are directly deposited into our checking accounts and I write a check to DH each pay for a set amount (probably 90% of my check). He pays all the bills. He is soooooooooo good about it. If it were left up to me, everything would be late and our credit rating would be the shits.
DH is also good about helping out with the housework.
He doesn't cook though. Sometimes it would be so nice if he could prepare a meal. I also have to plan all vacations and figure out what gifts to buy the family.
Glad to hear your DH sort of apologized to you :-)
Bit late. I think most banks will you let you set up an automatic transfer every month.
Mr Bob and I always had seperate accounts. We would divvy up the bills (he paid rent. I paid bills and groceries) and rest was ours to spend as we wished.
Now we share an account. I prefer seperate accounts, but I'm too lazy to do anything about it.
BTW, I lost my bank card AGAIN.
So this is the third bank card, Bob? Are you sure Mr Bob isn't losing his and stealing yours?
Automatic transfers would work if we got paid the same date, I think. I dunno.
Well, if I had a new bank card, it would be the third, but I'm in denial that I lost mine, so right now I have no card.
I better go to the bank tommorrow.
Post a Comment