As Post #498, I'm afraid my thoughts will get lost, so I will copy them here. I have more to say on this and may add more at a later time. Right now, I'm so overwhelmed with thoughts, I'll leave it at this:
I'm quite sure that I will not be able to express my thoughts and opinions as impressively as many on this thread have. However, I feel that I must. Why? Because I am able to make that choice, which is what this entire monster boils down to.
I've made that choice once. I had it made for me another time. I was 18 the first time I conceived with my ex-BF, while on the Pill. A freshman in college. God made the first choice for me by having me miscarry. The second pregnancy was at 19, while on the Pill. At the end of my second year of college. I was asked point blank by my ex stepmother what I was going to do about IT. My baby was never an IT to me. It was my child from the moment I found out I was pregnant. He was not planned, I had no clue how I'd manage to have him and support him, but I knew I would.
HOWEVER! That was my choice. A choice that I am quite thankful I was able to make. You see, I also have a friend who was pregnant at that time. She was in a bad place in life - no family, few friends, very little stability and no money. The child's sperm donor walked out before she found out she was pregnant. Having that child was something that just was not possible for her at that point. And yes, she too was on the Pill.
Pregnancy happens, planned or not, birth control or not. What choice my friend made is not important to the story. The knowledge that she had the choice was enough. She did what she felt was best in her life. And while I could not see myself ever making the decision she did, I respect her for knowing herself well enough to make the decision.
How many children are left to die in dumpsters across this country? How many children are dropped on orphanage, church, hospital or fire department steps within hours of birth? How many children live in foster homes or orphanages for 18 years, never knowing what family is all about because their mother left them in another's care with hopes of a better life? How many children grow up with no clothes, minimal food, and a cardboard box for shelter? How many children cannot read and write because they do not go to school? How many children will never know the beauty of life because their family is in a horrible place that cannot be remedied? How many children can you identify that your child knows, you pass on the street, or hear about in a news story that are abused or left for dead or murdered by "loving" parents? How many parents hate their child and cannot stand the sight of raising it?
How many abortions are performed in the United States each year for whatever reason?
ETA: My ex-DH was adopted, as was his brother. If he had been aborted, my children would not be. Still, that is not enough for me to tell any woman of any age that she has no choice.
ETA #2: Have you ever heard of a story where the doctors try to persuade a woman to have an abortion because it is a severe possibility that she could die as a result of pregnancy and childbirth? I have. My own mother's doctor tried to convince her not to have me because of her health condition. To her, having a child was more important. Was it the right choice for her? I'd like to think so. If she hadn't had that choice....
Only a woman knows.
10 comments:
The entire thread has finally gotten me pissed off. I was doing fine until I was told that I was pro death. That really struck a nerve. I don't think I'll be opening that thread again.
But I thought your post was great. I did read it over there.
*smooch*
Haven't opened that thread. But your last line says it all.
I'll go one step farther and say "Only a woman who has been in a position where she had to make such a choice knows."
Again, other place topic, hun?
Ditto what Glow said. *smooch*
Very good point, Glowie. Many women are never in that situation and can only assume that they would feel a certain way.
Given my situation, I knew what the right choice for me at the time was. Put me in another situation and I cannot say I'd make the same choice. It's KNOWING that I have that choice, no matter what the situation, that is something of a comfort.
That said, I have every reason in the world to be Pro-Life, Anti-Abortion, whatever the fuck you want to call it. And it's those very same reasons that I am Pro-Choice, Pro-Death, whatever. While my situations have been bearable, I know that I have been at the positive end of the experiences. And my situations are not those of others. Therefore, never could I try to tell someone what to do. There have been a couple friends that I have wholeheartedly supported their decision to either abort or give up for adoption. And again, it was knowing they had that choice that made the decision a bit more bearable. It's never easy, no matter what a person decides to do.
Another thought occurred to me late last night as I was laying in bed.
Given that many over there feel that abortion is the death of a soul who only has one chance to live, am I also preventing those souls from entering this life because I chose to use birth control at some point? What about tying my tubes? Have I unknowingly "killed" several cell collections because of this choice?
How absurd can we get with all of this?
You know, you've made me think of something I've never thought of before. When I found out I was pregnant, at 18, unmarried, I felt *I* had no choice. *I* personally could not have gone through with an abortion, *but* I have no idea how I would have felt had I really NOT had the choice. Maybe the decision would have been harder had I felt there were no options for me. Hmm. That really gives me a different way to think about it. Maybe had abortion been illegal, I would have resented the babies growing inside me at the time, because I would have felt stuck.
I guess I don't have a point, other than this has really been enlightening for me, in some ways.
Your comments and story are interesting to read. I've had many issues and experiences with abortion also. Maybe I'll post about it someday. I'm just sick of the topic right now with everyone getting upset.
I personally am pro death. I can think of a few people right off the top of my head who should just up and die. *blinks* There I go thinking out loud again.
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