my time...my ramblings...my place to hide from the rest of the world and let me be me.
Tuesday, November 6
serious question
have you ever looked around at your life, your job, your family and wondered what the hell you were doing there? wondered if you made the right choices? wondered if this was really where you were meant to be?
Sure. Sometimes it's more of an amused look around and thinking, "how did I get here" and sometimes it's a more serious, "what the hell did I do to wind up here" thought.
Yesterday I went to grab the mail, and turned around to see Lauren playing on the floor with some toys. It hit me that not that long ago, she didn't exist. It's one thing to wonder about your life for yourself, but it was weird to me to think about choices I've made that got me here - and the fact that if I hadn't made them a whole person wouldn't even exist.
Of course. I thought I'd be living in the big city (Chicago, New York, LA) and working for a big advertising agency. I expected to have one child and a dashing husband that liked to put on a tuxedo and go to fancy cocktail parties.
And the thing is, I don't recall making the conscious decision to live the life I have instead.
Frodis, I sometimes think about my kids and while realizing that THEY wouldn't exist if I hadn't made the choices I did, who's to say I wouldn't have made some other people who were even MORE spectacular!
(and my kids are pretty good. Imagine what it's like for people whose kids are just so-so!)
10 comments:
Sure. Sometimes it's more of an amused look around and thinking, "how did I get here" and sometimes it's a more serious, "what the hell did I do to wind up here" thought.
Yesterday I went to grab the mail, and turned around to see Lauren playing on the floor with some toys. It hit me that not that long ago, she didn't exist. It's one thing to wonder about your life for yourself, but it was weird to me to think about choices I've made that got me here - and the fact that if I hadn't made them a whole person wouldn't even exist.
Of course. I thought I'd be living in the big city (Chicago, New York, LA) and working for a big advertising agency. I expected to have one child and a dashing husband that liked to put on a tuxedo and go to fancy cocktail parties.
And the thing is, I don't recall making the conscious decision to live the life I have instead.
Yes.
All the time. I think I've mentioned this before. And I love my husband and my child, but I always wonder if this is where I'm meant to be.
No. I'm very fortunate to be where I am and am thankful for everything.
Mind you, I have often wondered how the hell I ended up with such effed up siblings LOL.
We all wonder the same thing, Nookie. It's a wonder you can be so fantastic and they can be so, um, not fantastic?
All the time, Momma.
But then sometimes I think, " How did I get so lucky?!"
And Frodis? That's really deep.
Hey Momma,
I had a very long answer written out, bu in the end, it was too personal to post in a reply.
Instead, I'll just say "why yes, I have" and leave it at that.
I'd definitely take a do-over in some aspects of my life.
Frodis, I sometimes think about my kids and while realizing that THEY wouldn't exist if I hadn't made the choices I did, who's to say I wouldn't have made some other people who were even MORE spectacular!
(and my kids are pretty good. Imagine what it's like for people whose kids are just so-so!)
You're right, MTW. I've actually thought about that, too. But that's a little too deep even for me. :)
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